Steve Stegelin

Blotter o’ the week: Police stumbled upon a years-long grudge outside a West Ashley credit union, after a man tipped over and gutted a UPS drop box. The offender, who had a “For Sale” sign taped to his leg, told police he attacked it because his friend was struck by a delivery truck when they were younger. We can’t wait to see the revenge flick Tarantino makes about this.

An officer approached a man facing a brick wall downtown at night. When they shined their flashlights on the man, they realized he was urinating. The man was surprised, but finished anyway before apologizing to the officer.

Marijuana and gummies were seized from a vehicle during a traffic stop on James Island. The gummies were wrapped similarly to the weed, implying they might be THC gummies. Is it really a crime to store your gummies in an old prescription pill bottle? No, but marijuana possession is.

A man at a West Ashley gas station was accused of stealing a 24-pack of Corona from the cooler. It’s good to see some people staying informed on COVID-19, knowing that coronavirus is not caused by a canned alcoholic beverage.

A vehicle bearing a “USC Mom” bumper sticker was recently reported stolen at 4:20 p.m. No mention if she’s a “cool mom,” but we’d like to hope.

Police responded to a downtown man’s home after he called about a stolen bicycle, valued at $70. The bike was taken a month ago, but the man said he waited to report it until he was able to find the proper paperwork for officers. Despite the fact that the document investigation took 30 days, we kind of feel like maybe the guy didn’t actually care that much about the bike.

Downtown, a man began to suspect that his identity was stolen when he had trouble obtaining credit reports. The victim told police that he was trying to better his life by obtaining credit reports. Most people just try going to the gym, but this is actually a really great way to work on yourself.

A Winchester rifle was found on a man’s Johns Island property, in a wooded area between two trails. Police believe it was likely there for an extended period of time. The complainant told police he owned the property for six years and has never seen the gun before. In Charleston, sometimes we stumble on cannonballs, sometimes it’s rusty rifles.

While patrolling downtown, an officer noticed a bike that looked similar to one stolen earlier. His suspicions were raised further when the man riding it saw the police, jumped off the bike, pushed it over, and quickly said, “That ain’t my bike.”

Medical equipment valued at $35,000 and a 12-pack of toilet paper were stolen from a woman’s vehicle downtown. Value of the TP, these days: How much you got?

Officers responded to a shoplifting in progress at a West Ashley superstore. The offender, according to loss prevention, stole an electric razor and a Mountain Dew. He escaped before police arrived, but dropped a set of car keys for a Honda and a Planet Fitness card on his key ring. To recount: Officers are looking for a hopped-up, well-groomed man with fading muscle definition who drives a sensible car.

A man was arrested for illegally entering a Chipotle during the pandemic. Never thought we’d type that sentence, but here we are.