Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Blotter of the Week: About $714 in perfume was stolen from a West Ashley department store. Alright let’s see: Valentine’s Day was five months ago, Mother’s Day was in May and Christmas is still five months away … Someone missed a birthday.

RUNNERS UP

Police approached a man and woman sitting on a downtown bench holding a large plastic cup full of what ended up being beer. The man reportedly was angry with the woman, saying she was nothing but trouble and wished she hadn’t sat on the bench with him in the first place.

A downtown man told officers he “didn’t want any problems,” and that he “has a warrant out for traffic stuff.” This is just a suggestion, but if you don’t want any problems, maybe don’t bring up your outstanding warrants.

A West Ashley woman told officers that her computer had been hacked by her plumber after he had “gotten friendly” with her. Oh hey, we’ve seen that one.