Tourism Brochure Photo o’ the Week: After stumbling out of a downtown restaurant, a very drunk man was seen clinging to the trunk of a palmetto tree to hold himself up.

A man took several shots of tequila at the end of a workday and drove home with a blood alcohol content of .16, twice the legal limit. When a cop pulled the man over and asked him to step out of the vehicle for a DUI test, the man said, “I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

Weapon o’ the Week: A Barry Bonds 15-oz. aluminum baseball bat.

Around 11:15 a.m., a man went home for lunch and noticed that someone had broken into his home and was hiding in the bathroom. The intruder ran away when the homeowner told him to leave.

A police officer watched as a man stopped on the sidewalk and set a pint-size cup of soup on the ground. When the man realized he was being watched, he picked the cup back up, walked 50 feet down the sidewalk, and put the soup on the ground again. The cop stopped the man and asked why he was littering, and the man replied, “It is soup!”

Homemade Marijuana Pipe o’ the Week: A PVC valve with detachable ends and a hole drilled in the top for ventilation.

Vandalism o’ the Week: Somebody keyed a wavy line all the way around a car and carved the words “Fuck you bitch ass” on the hood.

A debit card thief went on a big-time bar-hopping spree. Over the course of three nights, the thief used the card at nine different bars in downtown Charleston and Mt. Pleasant, visiting one bar three times.

Baby Mama Drama o’ the Week: A woman and her male friend say they were sitting in a car in a restaurant parking lot when a second woman — who may or may not have been pregnant with the man’s child at the time — walked up, opened the car door, and pepper-sprayed the first woman in the face. But when police arrived on scene, they noted that the inside of the car did not smell like pepper spray and the woman’s eyes did not appear to be very irritated.

During a traffic stop, an officer found a cardboard box in a car trunk that was held shut with tape and half-wrapped in wrapping paper. When the cop picked up the box, the driver lunged at him and then said the box was a gift for his niece. The box contained two pounds of marijuana.

“Oh shit,” a man said as a bag containing 24 grams of weed fell out of his jacket pocket directly in front of a police officer.

Somebody stole a woman’s debit card information and used it to make more than $300 worth of purchases at a beauty supply store. Money can’t buy happiness, but $300 sure can buy a lot of hair products.

An employee of a hair salon is accused of stealing a cash deposit that he was supposed to take to the bank. Guess he decided to cut and run.

A police officer was parked on a residential street one afternoon when he saw a man standing on the sidewalk waving his arms as if to get the officer’s attention. When the officer asked the man if he was OK, he replied, “Yeah, are you?” The cop asked the man why he was waving his arms around, and the man replied, “You got a fucking problem?” and then ran away. The officer caught the man, frisked him, and found half a gram of weed in his pocket.

Drug Dealer Fail o’ the Week: A business owner checked his P.O. box and found a package that had been returned to his address due to a lack of postage. He asked around his business, and nobody said they had sent the package. He opened it and found three grams of what was described as a cocaine-like substance.

A man whom police describe as a “known vagrant and drunkard” was standing in front of a convenience store harassing customers. When a cop confronted him, the man said, “So what? I can stand here as long as I like. Don’t come at me with that shit.”

A woman says she got in a fight with her brother after confronting him about sitting on the couch and drinking all the soda. The brother allegedly flew into a rage and kicked a nearby flat-screen TV, breaking the frame and shattering the screen.