Illustration by Steve Stegelin

The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department between June 9 and Sept. 29.

Blotter of the week: A drunken man downtown was refused by medical staff upon arrival to the detention center due to his “swollen cheeks.” Hey guys, come on, maybe he just has those pinchable cheeks my Aunt Betty loves so much.

RUNNERS UP

A new hire at a small West Ashley business refused to supply proper paperwork to their new employer because they believed “the owner was out to steal his identity.” 

A West Ashley woman’s sign reading, “Together, we are family”, was stolen from its display place outside her front door. So much for family, and just in time for Thanksgiving.

Officers noticed a man sitting on a downtown sidewalk with a large styrofoam cup of foaming amber liquid. When they asked if that was his, and if it was a particular brand of beer, the man replied, “No, it’s a lite.” Trust us, we were just as disappointed as you probably are.