Grimace Threat O’ the Week: “I’m going to slap you until you are purple.”

At 6 in the morning, a patrol officer approached a parked car that was running and had its right blinker on. The officer walked up to the car, where he found the driver sleeping and wearing only his underwear.

A man head-butted his wife, her brother, and her cousin at a family gathering that got out of hand.

A woman was cited for disturbing the peace for being naked in the lobby of a downtown hotel. Things got even weirder when officers asked for her identification.

Stopped for speeding, an offender said, “I’m going to be honest with you, I’m working undercover for federal agents. They let me speed and said it’s OK for me to drive without a license.”

Police questioned an intoxicated man sitting on the steps of a dentist office late one night. When officers asked him what he was doing, he said he was waiting for his appointment.

Love-Hate Quote O’ the Week: “You know I love you since you don’t know I will kill you.”

Pulled over on suspicion of driving intoxicated, a man was asked for his license, insurance, and registration. He handed over his insurance, registration, and debit card. The officer informed the man of his mistake and handed back the debit card. A few moments later, the man said he had found his driver’s license and handed the officer his debit card once again.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.