Steve Stegelin

The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department between May 26 and June 1. No one described in this section has been found guilty, just unlucky.

Blotter o’ the week: Over the weekend of May 30, many vandalisms and burglaries were reported downtown. “Black Lives Matter,” “Stop Killing Us” and “No Justice, No Peace” were written on buildings. These incidents likely would not have happened had George Floyd not been killed.

Police responded to a neighborly dispute on a Tuesday, during which the complainant told officers that his neighbor has been regularly trespassing on his property for several years by walking through his easement to take her trash out. When officers asked her to maybe move her garbage can about 10 feet to the left, to avoid her neighbor’s property, she said “No, because that means he wins.”

In a beautiful twist of irony, a protester called the police on a woman yelling at protesters and brandishing a firearm at them in a public area. The protester gave a picture of the offender and their license plate to CPD, which is investigating.

Officers pulled over a man for reckless driving on a busy West Ashley road. The offender was acting erratically, probably because of the ecstasy he admitted to taking. But he said he takes it regularly, so he’s all good.

Police were notified after a juvenile attempted to purchase an Xbox gaming system through Craigslist. When the seller later arrived, the boy handed him $120, and in return was given a backpack full of cookbooks. Look, if anything this man is doing the kid a favor — cooking is a much more practical hobby anyway.

A total of 59 marijuana seeds were found during a probable cause search of a vehicle on Folly Road. Officers asked the soon-to-be gardener if she had any marijuana in the car. She said she didn’t, which is technically true. If they came back in a few weeks, it might be a different story.

One woman lit a cigarette after a patrolling officer pulled her over, in an attempt to mask the smell of all the alcohol she had been drinking. Unfortunately for her, some of these CPD officers have the noses of bloodhounds, and she was arrested for driving under the influence.

A Charleston woman reportedly sent $9,500 in gift cards to a strange man with whom she had a “romantic relationship” with over Facebook. The man told her that he had been fired from the International Red Cross and needed money in the form of Nike and American Express gift cards. Red flags included: the two never having met in person, the profile having only one friend (her) and the profile only having one picture.

When police found a man lying on the ground with no shirt, no shoes and with his pants unbuttoned, surrounded by about a dozen empty beer cans, the obvious question to be answered was “How much have you had to drink?” Luckily for them, the man was just conscious enough to answer, “Too much.”

A downtown restaurant patron reportedly had a little too much to drink and started getting unruly with people outside the establishment, eventually pulling down his pants and exposing his buttocks to those on the sidewalk. We love a good, old-fashioned mooning. It’s the little things you have to hold on to nowadays.