Blotter o’ the Week: Police were investigating a possible marijuana growing operation when they found a yellow school bus at the end of a dead-end street with the windows mostly covered. They saw a few potted plants outside the bus’s front door and knocked to see if anyone was inside. A woman came out and said, “I absolutely do not do any illegal narcotics,” then admitted that she had some marijuana that she used for medical problems. A search of the magic school bus turned up two glass pipes, a marijuana grinder, and a glass jar with five grams of weed inside.

A man drove a brand-new car to a convenience store, walked in, and attempted to shoplift boxes of frozen burgers and frozen Philly cheesesteaks by hiding them in his shirt. An officer noted that the man was “visibly intoxicated.”

Police walked up to a man who was passed out in the street next to a car with an open door, shirtless and sweating heavily. When he woke up, he told them, “I guess I’m drinking and driving then” several times and said he was a Citadel cadet. He was arrested on a charge of public drunkenness.

In a wanton crime that is sure to polarize the community, somebody broke into a sunglasses store at night and stole six pairs of shades.

A woman was going through a restaurant drive-thru when a shirtless man she had never met walked up and punched her windshield, causing it to crack. She says the man jumped in a getaway vehicle and fled the scene.

Stolen From Homes This Week: A gold and diamond necklace, a $6,000 wristwatch, four pairs of earrings, $500 in cash, an iPhone, an XBox 360, a set of speakers, five TVs, a computer, a laptop, $500 worth of copper pipes, and a pair of industrial-strength scissors.

A woman says she was at a bar when someone bumped into her, causing her to accidentally spill water on a bald-headed man whom she described as a bodybuilder. She says the man asked her why she spilled a drink on him and she said it was only water, to which he responded by saying, “I don’t give a fuck if it’s water,” and pushing her. Interviewed later, the man said someone had grabbed his recently tattooed arm, causing him to whirl around and accidentally push the woman.

A restaurant employee says he was dressed as a mascot when a customer started “kissing him, dancing inappropriately on him, and at one point took [the mascot’s] hands and placed them on her chest,” according to an incident report.

Someone attempted to shoplift groceries from a store by hiding them in a potted plant from the lawn and garden department. The loss prevention officer rooted out the thief and wouldn’t let him leaf.

A man was seen drinking beer and harassing guests at a motel pool. He was not a guest of the hotel.

Chase o’ the Week: Two young men were rummaging through a vehicle they’d broken into when a cop rolled up. One of the guys hopped out of the car and shouted “Oh shit!” They both took off running, breaking a gate and clearing a six-foot concrete wall before the officer caught them.

While he was being searched for marijuana at a traffic stop, a man thrust his arms up in the air to avoid being handcuffed and said, “I want to call my mom.” According to an incident report, the officer “assisted the offender to the ground,” found a baggie of weed in his pocket, and arrested him on charges of marijuana possession, resisting arrest, and improper lane usage.

A witness says a man was driving when he stopped the car, got out, vomited, and then passed out on the ground. The man was taken to the hospital and charged with public intoxication.

Dumb Graffiti o’ the Week: Somebody spray painted “FUCK 12” on a car beside its gas tank. Sounds like somebody has beef with NASCAR’s Juan Pablo Montoya, driver of the No. 12 Team Penske car.

Weed Stash o’ the Week: Police found 13 grams of marijuana inside an empty chip bag that a man was keeping in a pocket of his cargo pants.

Somebody stole three flat-screen TVs from the patio area of a restaurant. Somebody must really hate college football season.

Worst Shoplifter o’ the Week: When store employees caught a man shoplifting while wearing a neon green polo shirt, he told them, “You’re not getting me for shoplifting” and handed all of the merchandise over before heading to the back of the store and picking up more products. By the time police arrived, he was carrying $182.77 worth of jewelry, sunglasses, and reading glasses in his pockets and backpack.

When police asked a woman what she was carrying down the sidewalk in a plastic cup, she initially said, “Water,” then revised her answer to “punch.” The officer asked what was in the punch, and she said, “Vodka.” The officer asked how old she was, and she said, “18.”