Blotter of the Week: A woman stepped out of a bar one night and saw a homeless man walking by carrying a pit bull in a carriage. She reached out to the dog, and it bit her palm. The man said the dog was up to date on his shots, but the woman went to the hospital for rabies shots anyway.

A man had been drinking at a bar for a while when he started spraying beer at the employees and threw a glass at a bartender before hitting her in the head.

Stolen From Homes This Week: A car trailer, a kayak, a Playstation 3, three tablet computers, a pearl necklace, two pear-shaped earrings, one gold earring, six gold rings, two coats, two potted plants, and two 5-gallon cans of gasoline.

Somebody stole a purse containing an iPhone 4, an iPad Mini, and a Macbook Pro. Lesson learned: Don’t put all your Apples in one basket.

The driver of a semi truck reportedly ran into two gas pumps at a filling station and then drove off, causing $8,000 worth of damage.

Weed Stash o’ the Week: Police found 23 grams of a green leafy substance inside a Tazo brand tea tin on the floorboard of a man’s vehicle.

A man was driving down the street when a woman walked up and tried to enter his car. After telling the woman several times that he wasn’t running a taxi service, the driver flagged down a police officer, who arrested the woman on a charge of public intoxication.

Around 4 a.m., a college student punched out a window at a downtown pizza restaurant and walked away. Police found a trail of blood on the sidewalk and followed it until it ended at the feet of the student, who was sitting on a case of beer.

A man stumbled out of a bar around 1:20 a.m., crossed the street, and peed on the ground beside a fountain. Police officers were standing 10 feet behind him when he dropped traw and started whizzing.

When an officer found crack cocaine in a man’s jacket pocket, the man confessed, “I smoke a little rock every now and then.” Y’know, recreationally, on weekends.

A woman squeezed past a bouncer to get into a bar and immediately fell on the floor, then got up and tried to punch the bouncer and kick him in the groin. Clearly she came to party.

Somebody walked into a restaurant and stole a tip jar containing $350 in cash. Later the same evening, the owner discovered that someone had stolen a meat smoker, a ladder, and a hand truck from the storage area in the back.

Weapon o’ the Week: A paint bucket.

A man got tired of his neighbor keeping stray cats on her property, so he started trapping the cats and taking them to animal control. The neighborly tension reached a boiling point when the woman put a “Lost Cat” sign up on a telephone pole and the man tore it down. The woman reportedly told the man, “Now you just wait and see what happens,” and the man woke up the next morning to discover that someone had keyed his pickup truck, causing $3,000 in damage.

Shoplifting Haul o’ the Week: Three hairpins, 17 necklaces, four pendant earring sets, two hairclips, an anklet, three ear hoops, two watches, two bracelets, a purse charm, an ornament, a fabric headwrap, a pin, 40 accessories, 47 earrings, 57 other pieces of jewelry, and a frappuccino.

A cop pulled a man over for throwing a cigarette butt out of his car window and ended up searching the vehicle. The search turned up a bag of weed, a glass pipe, and an Altoids tin and plastic bag containing amphetamine, oxycodone, hydrocodone, alprazolam, and trazadone. It ended up being a very costly littering ticket.

Police responded to a report of an assault in progress and found a crowd of 70 people surrounding a man who was lying on the ground. Officers ordered the crowd to back off, but one woman refused to leave and tried to grab and move the man on the ground. After putting up a fight, cursing the cops out, and spitting in the face of one officer, the woman was placed under arrest for disorderly conduct. “I’m a criminal justice major,” she said, “and I know the law better than y’all do, ’cause I didn’t do shit wrong.”