Stolen from homes this week: An XBox 360, three XBox 360 games, a laptop computer, and a cast iron clawfoot bathtub.

Hulk-Out o’ the Week: While arguing with a parking lot attendant who had placed a boot on her car, a woman tore a parking sign off of a concrete pillar with her bare hands, slicing her finger open in the process. When a cop caught up to her and asked how the sign came to be lodged between some metal railings with dried blood on the front, the woman said, “It was already like that.”

A man shoplifted a can of beer by hiding it in the front of his pants. The guy’s a stone-cold nut job.

Somebody broke into a storage unit and stole four Italian ice coolers with umbrellas, an ice chest, and three Igloo coolers. That guy’s about to feel the revenge of the Italian Ice Mafia.

After getting thrown out of a bar for hitting two people, a man told a police officer he was “not going anywhere without my other flip flop,” then he shouted obscenities and backhanded the cop. He was arrested on charges of public disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Restaurant staff found a man sprawled on his back on the sidewalk with his arms and legs stretched out. Police asked the man to sit up, and he tried but could not. He was cited for public intoxication and transported to the hospital.

Police stopped a man who was trying to use his key to get into someone else’s house. When asked if he had been drinking at the nightclub across the street, the man replied, “You look like a smart man. You figure that one out.” He was arrested on a public intoxication charge.

A woman called police because she believes the neighbors’ kids shot out her window with an airsoft gun.

A police dispatcher received a 911 call stating that someone had been shot at a particular address, then the caller hung up. Police went to investigate the scene, and no one had been shot, but three juveniles were seen hiding in a ditch and then running away from the cop car. Police caught all three of them, confirmed that they had made the call, and confiscated their cell phones.

Somebody vomited in the women’s restroom at a bar, so a bouncer stood guard at the door and told people they couldn’t go inside until it was cleaned up. When a woman tried to go inside, he stopped her, but she insisted that she needed to go to the bathroom due to a “lady emergency.” She tried to push past the bouncer, and he placed her in a full Nelson hold and escorted her out of the building.

Rant o’ the Week: Around 9 a.m., a woman was seen walking down the sidewalk flailing her arms around and shouting, “What the hell you talking about?” and “White lesbians and white people go to hell!”

Scam o’ the Week: A couple looking for an apartment found a place they liked online and e-mailed the supposed owner, who said he was a reverend living out of town. They were instructed to use a key dropbox to check out the place, which was fully furnished. After looking around inside the apartment, they were instructed to wire the reverend two months’ worth of $800 rent, which they did. The reverend then said he’d need another $1,600 before the place was theirs, and they refused. The reverend said he’d send over the keys, but he needed $300 to cover “UPS fees.” The couple refused again and called police, and they never heard from the good pastor again.

During a fight in the employee break room at a clothing store, one woman threw a bottle of orange soda at the back of another woman’s head, punched her in the head several times, and then went out to the parking lot and keyed the word “bitch” in the hood of her car.

While three women were standing outside a bar waiting on a taxi, a man approached them and tried to give them a palmetto rose, which they said they did not want. An officer intervened and told the man that the ladies weren’t interested, but the man persisted, saying that he had “made a promise to give the women the rose,” according to an incident report. When the man ignored the officer four more times, he was placed under arrest for disorderly conduct.

Around bar closing time, two women squatted behind a tourst info kiosk to pee together. When an officer spotted them, they both stood up with their panties at half mast and then pulled them up. One of the women admitted she was “18 going on 19” and had been drinking liquor drinks all night, so she was given a citation for that in addition to her public urination charge.

Prisoner Property o’ the Week: One bottle of Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy perfume and one Survival Multitool.