BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: Someone tried to get into a pawn shop at night by breaking through a brick wall with a sledgehammer. He didn’t make it through.

While on parole, a man got the munchies and tried to shoplift three Snickers bars, a pint of ice cream, and two bottles of chocolate milk by hiding them in his jacket. He was arrested.

Smoker-Not-A-Fighter Quote O’ The Week: “No, I don’t have any weapons, just a blunt.”

Someone who lives downtown was storing his fancy mountain bike by leaning it against his house. Shockingly, it was stolen.

Police approached a woman who they had just seen buying two crack rocks. They asked if she had anything illegal on her, and she simply turned around and offered her hands to be cuffed. Officers got one of the rocks out of her pocket, and she said, “Don’t forget the second piece.”

A man unlocked his car from inside his house using a remote. By the time he got to the car, a quick-thinking thief had opened the door and stolen his iPhone from its charger.

A tipsy-looking woman was trying to cross to a neighbor’s second-floor apartment on a six-inch exterior ledge when she fell to the sidewalk and hurt her wrist. No Man On Wire, this one.

Chauvinistic Threat O’ The Week: “I wish you were a man so I could punch you in the face.”

A man got arrested for loitering under a No Loitering sign.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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