BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: Somebody stole 15 ladders from the parking lot of an apartment complex and is now presumably building a stairway to heaven.

A man got into an argument with his girlfriend, stormed out of their apartment, and punched a glass fire extinguisher case, cutting his hand in several places. The fire extinguisher has not pressed any charges.

A man was walking past a library when a total stranger punched him in the back.

Someone tried shoplifting two 24-ounce cans of beer by putting them in his rear pants pockets — all the better to dance the can-can, we suppose.

Two boys were caught shoplifting 10 Xbox games, raising the age-old question: Do videogames turn our kids into criminals, or does crime turn our kids into gamers?

A woman quit her retail job, found her boss’ car, and smeared her own spit on the driver-side window. Guess you could say she was spittin’ mad.

The Things They Shoplifted: Body wash, hair clips, shampoo, headache powder, two wallets, a whistle key finder, and an electric toothbrush replacement head.

When police asked a man who was stumbling around Meeting Street for the name of the hotel where he was staying, he couldn’t think of it. The cops asked if he had a room key, and he handed them a receipt for a men’s golf cap.

An employee at an antique store knew trouble was brewing when he noticed an $850 silver-plated coffee pot had been stolen.

A burglar stole two Blu-Ray players, two remotes, a home phone, and a Polaroid camera from someone’s home. As it turns out, no technology is too outdated for this particular thief.

Shoplifting Excuse o’ the Week: “Who cares I took them. Y’all are racist.”

Six hours after giving $10 to someone who claimed to be a parking lot attendant, a man returned to his car to find that it had been booted. He spotted the scammer still ripping people off and warned other drivers not to pay the man, then chased him down the street. The fake parking attendant got away, but not before throwing down a handful of cash and yelling, “There’s your money!”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.