Blotter o’ the Week: A shoplifter attempted to conceal a faucet in his pants and exit a hardware store without paying, according to an incident report. When questioned by police, the man admitted that he simply needed the items for work. It seems he had thought of everything expect the kitchen sink.

A woman went to speak with police after continually receiving harassing messages from a former boyfriend. During the woman’s conversation with officers, the offender called the woman on her cell phone. Police spoke with the man at the time, asking that he cease all attempts to contact his former girlfriend. The following day, the suspect again messaged the woman and a witness who said he had received messages that were “pornographic in nature” from the suspect.

A landlord called police regarding a tenant who had repeatedly complained about finding surveillance equipment planted throughout her home. The tenant previously claimed to have discovered a recording device in her home, but she lost it. The woman also mentioned that she had previously showed the recording device to a Navy Seal, but no one was willing to believe her story.

A resident refused to allow another man inside of his home when the gentleman showed up and demanded a ride. Later, the man left his home to visit a neighbor and get a cigarette, when to his surprise he was confronted by the suspect from earlier. “Why the hell didn’t you open the door?” the suspect asked, to which the man responded, “You not going to be banging on my door like that.” As the man attempted to leave the apartment, the suspect allegedly approached him in an aggressive manner before hitting him in the face.

A woman left her home one morning to attend a family member’s funeral only to return to find the front windshield of her vehicle had been shot out by an unknown person.

A drunken man was found trying to break his way into what he thought to be a friend’s house late one evening. The man was described as being barefoot, covered in dried vomit, and having wet his pants. The homeowner said he did not recognize his uninvited guest who was soon placed on trespass notice.

One unfortunate mother suspects that her son stole her ID card and debit card from her hospital room when he and a couple of friends visited her for her birthday.

A man who parked his vehicle in a garage for safekeeping during Hurricane Matthew suspects that someone took his vehicle for a joyride before returning it. The man said that the vehicle had additional damage that was not there before and that there was an additional 138 miles on the odometer than when he parked it in the garage. While the man could not name any possible suspects, this alleged crime appears to be the work of known truant Ferris Bueller.

Two men allegedly got into a scuffle after one of the men threw his buddy’s wallet into a nearby lake.

Faculty and staff at one high school noticed the strong smell of marijuana coming from the women’s rest room. At that time, a student admitted to smoking in the girls’ room and a bong was discovered in her backpack, according to an incident report.

A woman bit an officer while he was attempting to detain a male friend of hers who was being questioned regarding a bar-room assault that had taken place earlier in the evening.

Police responded to reports of someone yelling outside of an apartment complex. Upon arriving, police spoke with a man who said he was upset regarding a “blond female that has been a peeping tom through his windows.” The man added that the alleged offender is “really pissing him off and he is going to talk to management about it.” In an incident report, an officer noted that the man appeared to be having some medical problems due to his paranoid behavior and the fact that all of the appliances were unplugged inside of his apartment.

Police arrived on scene at what appeared to be a loud gathering of college-aged students. Upon noticing the officers, the approximately 100 partygoers started running out of the front and rear entrances of the residence, leaving behind a trail of beer cans and red Solo cups in their wake, according to an incident report.