Blotter of the Week: A man drinking from a large cup of what appeared to be beer while sitting on a downtown sidewalk quickly swapped the cup for a bottle of water when approached by police, telling officers that was all he had been drinking. The switcheroo didn’t work. 

RUNNERS UP

A $400 bicycle was stolen from a downtown man’s front porch. Even porch thieves are loving these cooler temps — perfect bike-riding weather. It’s fall, y’all.

A downtown man who was in a car accident while suspected of driving under the influence recounted the details of the accident, saying, “We were moving along, then we weren’t.” Not inaccurate!

A bag containing $900.28 meant to be deposited in a West Ashley bank was cut open and nearly all the money was stolen. The suspect reportedly left behind the 28 cents. Smart thinking. Nothing more suspicious than someone who carries loose change.