Steve Stegelin

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BLOTTER O' THE WEEK: Ten light bulbs and a microwave oven were stolen from a West Ashley home. The victim believes it was her ex-boyfriend who has a "thing" about LED light bulbs. If only he fought for their relationship as hard as he fought for proper lighting.

Police were alerted to a woman at a West Ashley bar screaming and flipping tables over. Officers noted that this resulted in a "ruined experience for several patrons." We also hate when the experience of a dark dive bar is ruined by things that usually happen in dark dive bars.

One man broke into another's downtown apartment. Officers arrived while the two were engaged in a verbal argument after the offender dumped unnamed liquids on the floor, threatened to harm the victim, and broke a curtain rod. Not to be weird, but we want to know what those liquids were.

Officers responded to a local hospital after getting a call about trespassing. When the officer arrived at the emergency room, he immediately recognized the woman in question. Security said she trespassed, police said she trespassed, she said she trespassed — it was a good time. She was arrested.

When asked to place himself on a scale of intoxication, zero being the lowest and 10 being the highest, a man told officers he was at a seven during a field sobriety test. You're off to a terrible start already, sir.

"You sold your soul to Reynolds' Tobacco and now your ass is mine," read one email a Daniel Island resident received. According to the recipient, the offender lives in California and they met in 1981. We feel like there's a lot of context that's missing in the report about the relationship these two have.

Two men broke into a downtown business and stole a pushcart holding 163 newspapers. The papers were described as being from Feb. 2 and having a picture of a man on a bicycle on the cover. Guys, we know The Post and Courier paywall is a pain, but come on.

A couple of kids walked into a downtown corner store, each grabbed a 15 pack of Mountain Dew and walked out. The kids reportedly put the drinks on the ground, reentered the store, and grabbed a few more, totaling 5 cases of stolen drinks. Why didn't anyone stop these hooligans?

A woman was accused of shoplifting from a downtown store Sunday. The owner said she took $18 worth of jewelry before leaving the store without paying. We aren't sure how many carats $18 can get you, but it can't be many.

In bigger shoplifting news, 31 articles of clothing were stolen from a separate downtown store, with a total price tag of $1,371.45. We get it, you're the better criminal, stop showing off.

A James Island man reported his vehicle had been vandalized Sunday. His black 2019 Genuine Scooter had its gas line cut, and parts of the transmission were missing. Whoever did this must be prepping for a serious moped garage build.

Police received a call Thurs. Jan. 27 from someone who wanted to file an incident report in reference to a student pulling the fire alarm at a downtown school, causing an evacuation and a response from two Charleston Fire Department fire trucks. If they were just seeking attention, it sounds like they got more than they bargained for.