Fragrant Hoarder O’ The Week: A West Ashley drugstore stopped a shoplifter after he allegedly tried to walk out with 17 deodorant sticks. Police found another 73 deodorant sticks in the man’s moped outside.

A mother caught her son pointing what looked like a gun at one of her other boys. Police determined the weapon was actually a BB gun and charged the boy with concealing a toy pistol, making a threat, and pointing a firearm at another person. On the way to jail, the 19-year-old told police, “I’m going to fucking kill my momma soon as I’m out, you can bet on that little boy.” You know, those heartwarming holiday Publix commercials just sort of write themselves.

Items Stolen This Week: Five bikes, two laptops, and a GPS unit.

City police handed over a subject wanted for outstanding warrants by the Charleston County Sheriff’s Office in the parking lot of a popular West Ashley bookstore. For reading material, might we suggest The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, or The Count of Monte Cristo.

Officers tried to question a man about an argument downtown. Asked for his ID, the man pulled everything out of his pockets, unbuckled his belt, and pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing himself to Market Street diners. The producers of Guys Gone Wild can rest easy; police cameras were rolling for the show.

A driver was stopped downtown after he nearly hit a pedestrian. Going from bad to worse, the man told officers that he was heading back to a Market Street bar to get his driver’s license. When asked if he was able to perform some roadside sobriety tests, the man responded, “Yes. I will take them. I know all of them.” Knowledge is good. But execution is better. He failed and was arrested for DUI.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.