Blotter of the Week: Around 7:30 p.m. one night, a man walked into a bar covered in blood and started picking fights with customers. After the bar’s manager threw the man out and called police, officers caught up with the man in a nearby parking lot and saw that he was bleeding from his nose. When they tried to talk to the man, he started “flailing his arms wildly around and spitting blood in all directions,” according to an incident report. He was arrested on charges of public disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Twerker o’ the Week: When officers arrived at an apartment to break up a physical dispute and told a man to turn around so they could search him, the man put his hands on the wall, shook his butt, and said, “Wait, let me start twerking for you … Uhn, I’m twerking it … Twerking.” Later, after being arrested and asked what kind of drugs he was on, the man said, “You all don’t understand, I am an intellectual. You can understand an intellectual.”

A man was driving down the street around 4 a.m. when he found a man passed out in the street with his head underneath a car and his legs hanging out into the roadway. When police roused the man, he did not know where he was.

Police pulled a driver over for an expired license tag and found a bag of weed under his passenger seat. The address listed for the traffic stop? 420 Meeting St.

A man was given a citation for public intoxication after making multiple unsuccessful attempts to mount his bicycle in traffic. A police officer sitting in traffic watched the man as he fell over and over again, at one point nearly crashing into the police cruiser.

An 18-year-old told police that a woman he had met online was attempting to blackmail him. He said the woman claimed she had taken explicit videos and pictures of him during a Skype session and was going to send the images to his family and friends via Facebook if he didn’t pay to subscribe to her website.

Grocery store employees saw a man shoplift a bag of frozen shrimp and a family pack of New York strip steaks. Nothing quite like a little surf and turf and run.

Stolen From Vehicles This Week: A violin, a rolling backpack, two bowling bags, three bowling balls, two pairs of bowling shoes, a hot pink Speedo backpack, $150 worth of swimming equipment, an emergency boat beacon, a laptop case, a company laptop, a radar detector, a GPS unit, an iPod cable, a cell phone charger, a hiking bag, a wallet, an ID card, two credit cards, $500 in cash, and 25 pills each of acetaminophen and the prescription painkiller hydrocodone.

A man was spotted drinking from a 40-oz. bottle of beer in Marion Square early in the afternoon. When a police officer approached him about it, the man yelled out, “Oh shit!”

Somebody stole an SUV that was towing a trailer carrying a go-kart that was covered in Shriners stickers. Police used the SUV’s OnStar system to track it to a hotel parking lot in North Charleston.

DUI o’ the Week: After reportedly swerving all over the road, driving without headlights at night, and nearly sideswiping several vehicles that were parked in the street, a man told a police officer, “Please don’t do this. I only have to get to Spring Street. I can make it.” Later, while being placed under arrest on a DUI charge, he said, “Please don’t do this. I can give you anything you want.”

Crack Cocaine Explanation o’ the Week: “Man, I just picked that up off the ground.”

A city maintenance worker caught two men and a woman wading in the fountain at the southwest corner of Marion Square, breaking some of the fountain’s nozzles in the process. He reported the damage to police, who caught up with the three frolickers a few blocks away. When asked why their clothes were sopping wet, they said they had just come from Folly Beach and were walking to the store for some cigarettes.

A taxi driver flagged down a police officer to report a passenger who was so drunk she couldn’t give an address where she wanted to go. The officer asked the woman where she needed to go, and she couldn’t answer him, passing out between questions. When the cop asked the woman to step out of the taxi, she yelled at the officers who had arrived on the scene. Once she was finally arrested and placed in the back of a patrol car, she vomited several times and called one of the officers a “stupid bitch.”

A man told police that he had heard gunshots one night but “thought nothing of it” because gunshots are frequent in his neighborhood. The next morning, he walked out to his car and found that a panel had been dented and a window broken on his vehicle. There were three bullet casings on the blacktop nearby.

Somebody broke three wooden rails on a porch to steal a bike that was locked up with a chain.