Best of the Best: Help us go through the worst of the worst from the 2012 Blotter by picking your favorite.
BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: When a cop approached a man who was yelling at the top of his lungs on the sidewalk at 2 a.m., the man warned him, “I have an AK-47.” He did not have an AK-47.
Weed Stash o’ the Week: In a pill bottle hastily stuffed into a pants pocket during a traffic stop.
A man wearing what is described as a “fedora/bucket style hat” got in a fight with several patrons at a bar and brandished a four-inch knife. Call it a crime of fashion.
Police Report Quote o’ the Week: “[The officer] attempted to grab the offender by sticking his right arm in front of his path of flight, around his midsection of the body, however the offender ducked to avoid capture and [the officer’s] arm struck the offender’s mouth.”
A student borrowed her neighbor’s library card and used it to rack up $108.93 in late fees. The card owner allegedly threatened to slash the book bandit’s tires if she didn’t pay up.
In an open-container violation, a man lying down beside an open can of fruit-flavored malt liquor told the officer it was his “first beer” of the day. The time was 1:37 p.m.
Someone stole a depth-finding device from a man’s boat that was on a private dock. The whole situation was a little fishy.
A man walked into his backyard, looked out at the woods, and saw someone sitting beside a fire at the treeline. The homeowner told the camper to scram, and the man by the fire responded by firing four gunshots in the air. It’s the Wild West Ashley over there.
Three men got into a scuffle after one of them allegedly cut in line at a bar restroom. One man ended up bleeding from his head and face after getting pushed into a urinal. All parties involved were royally pissed off.
During a traffic stop, a driver told police he had some “leftover” prescription medicine in the car. Actually, he had half a gram of methamphetamine, four grams of marijuana, 0.1 gram of cocaine, two ecstasy pills, one hydrocodone pill, three bottles of prescription drugs, and a gram of an unknown white powder.
Somebody stole a dog’s Xanax pills.
A Craigslist shopper paid $400 in cash for a washer and dryer that the seller delivered to her house. After the seller left, however, the new owner realized that the washer left black spots on her clothes and the dryer had no heat. When police tried to call the seller, he texted them back, “Are you interested in the washer and dryer?”
Stupid Question/Stupid Answer o’ the Week: A cop approached a man who was trying to light a crack pipe while sitting behind an abandoned house. When asked what he was doing, the man replied, “I guess getting high.”
Worst Shoplifter o’ the Week: A man walked into a store, placed $459.93 worth of power tools in a shopping cart, and simply took them out to his car without paying. He returned with the cart, picked out $976.99 worth of clothing, and walked back out to the parking lot. A loss prevention officer was waiting for him at the car.
The Things They Shoplifted: Organic hair relaxer, organic hair spray, organic hair mousse, a pair of boots, $625.93 worth of tools, five pieces of sterling silver jewelry, a Hello Kitty watch, a $60 bottle of cologne, a pair of tear drop earrings, a T-shirt, a pair of shoes, a pair of jeans, a $120 bottle of fragrance, a necklace that reads “Journey of a thousand miles,” and a necklace that reads “Never give up.”