Weapon O’ The Week: A construction helmet

A man caught with cocaine told officers, “If I had known that was there, I would have smoked it already with the one that I smoked just a few minutes ago.” Under “employment” on the booking sheet, he wrote, “Crack is my job.”

Asked whether he had been drinking, a man told officers, “I had a few drinks earlier. It’s Saturday night.” Nice try, but Saturday night is alright for fighting. Every night is alright for drinking.

Threat O’ The Week: “Buy me a beer or you’ll get beat again.”

Reassuring Perp O’ The Week: “Go ahead and check (the car), it’s clean. But if there is anything in it, it’s not mine.”

A woman told officers that her soon-to-be ex-husband had been texting threats and had accessed her MySpace page. In case you’re wondering, this is the first press MySpace has received since 2007.

On July 22, officers pulled over a speeding street sweeper. Asked for identification, the man gave officers someone else’s drivers license. That was evident because the name on the ID was that of a City of Charleston police officer. Told that the person on the drivers license worked for the city, the driver responded, “Oh, does he?”

Items Stolen This Week: 12 GPS units, 10 iPods, seven bikes, a laptop, golf clubs, and a guitar.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.