BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: There was a three-man fight in the men’s restroom at a Market Street bar over who got to use the urinal next.

Famous Last Words: “Get back in here before someone calls the police.”

An undercover officer who arrested two women for prostitution noted in both cases that the women “wanted some loving for $20.”

A man arrested for DUI after getting into an accident told officers, “Everyone makes mistakes.” Looks like someone actually is listening to Gov. Mark Sanford.

Weapon O’ The Week: A pot of sauce.

Text Threat O’ The Week: “Payback is a butch.”

A man fell off his bike downtown and bumped his head. When asked who the president was, he said, “George Bush.” Well, isn’t he in for a pleasant surprise.

An officer responding to a verbal dispute arrived after the fight had ended. But a third man approached the officer and demanded a ride home, saying that the officer’s job was to “serve and protect,” which meant “to serve him by giving him a ride to West Ashley.”

In an apparent ode to John Hughes, a 19-year-old arrested for disorderly conduct told officers, “You guys got made fun of in high school and that’s why you became cops.”

Officers reported finding a “large flat screen TV located in the center console” of a stolen truck. We can’t even fit six CDs in our center console.

Items stolen this week: Seven GPS units, five iPods, four laptops, three bikes, and a “Hello Kitty” debit card.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.