BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: After his motorcycle was stolen, a man told officers he had a picture of the tricked-out ride to help police find it. This is why stolen Pintos are so hard to find — owners go out of their way not to be photographed with it.

Officers were following a driver suspected of DUI when they observed him park and walk toward a downtown bar. After the doorman refused to let the man in because he appeared drunk, the cops asked him to perform a field sobriety test — as if the fact that he was so drunk that he couldn’t get into a bar wasn’t enough of a test.

A private investigator trailing a woman found a message on the woman’s Facebook page stating that she was going to kill the PI who was following her. The investigator then received a phone call from the woman stating that she knew where the PI lived and she was going to shoot the detective. It appears the investigator has become the investigated.

Threat O’ The Week: “You want your gun? … I’ll give it to you.”

A man suspected of driving under the influence continually proclaimed his innocence, saying at one point that he was “tipsy, but not drunk.”

Items Stolen This Week: 10 bikes, three iPods, two GPS units, and a laptop