BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: A gas station attendant claimed a man threatened her with a broomstick when she asked his girlfriend for her ID before selling her cigarettes.

A DUI suspect told officers he’d had two or three Coors Light beers and one “mystery” shot. “Good thing you took me off the street,” he said. “Dangerous.”

A woman accused of domestic violence allegedly started biting, hitting, and pushing her boyfriend when she awoke to find that he was sleeping in their bed after an earlier fight. And you thought being sent to the couch was punishment; it’s for your own protection.

Items Stolen This Week: An iPod and a laptop

Threat O’ the Week: “I know you’ve got graduation practice and I’m going to get you!”

A woman reporting a hit and run told officers the man claimed he’d worked two 12-hour shifts and he needed to get to the beach. Folly Beach police found the man’s car at the scene of a second accident and later found him sitting on the beach.

The victim in a car vandalism case told officers that she’d recently filed reports against two men. Asked if there was anyone else that might be a suspect in the case, she said there were “too many to list.”

A DUI suspect refused the Breathalyzer test, telling officers, “I’ve got to brush my teeth. I can’t do that.”

A suspect told officers that the marijuana might be his “if he wasn’t going to jail for it.” He was, and he did.

The suspect in a DUI collision asked the officer, “What is it going to take to get out of this?” He suggested he knew a guy who could get cocaine, Oxycodone, or OxyContin. When the cop declined, the man said the offer would have worked in New York.