Weapon o’ the week: Crabbing equipment

In a vandalism case involving a shattered car window, police officers noticed a red sticky substance splattered on the car. It wasn’t blood, but juice or some other liquid. Hmm. Slimer is green. Smurfs are blue. Maybe it was The Blob.

A hit-and-run suspect later charged with DUI told police that she hadn’t been driving at the time of the accident. She claimed it was an unnamed person who left for San Diego in the time between the accident and when she was pulled over.

Items Stolen This Week: Three GPS units

Police were searching a man accused of causing a disturbance at a gas station when they found a large knife. Asked what it was for, the man said it was to stab people because he didn’t have a gun to shoot them.

Three unknown suspects accused of assaulting a cab driver and skipping out on the fare allegedly fled on a small dinghy in the Ashley River.

Police found a man sleeping under a tree in a downtown parking lot. With bottles of alcohol around him, he told officers, “I thought I was at home.”

Threat O’ The Week: “I’ll be out tomorrow … I’ll show you what a real crime is.”

Found Item O’ The Week: Two pieces of luggage in the marsh near Brittlebank Park.

Asked if he had anything illegal in his car during a traffic stop, a man told officers, “God, I hope not.” Of course, he did.

Sibling Threat O’ The Week: “You better watch your back. I’m going to get you. I don’t care if you live with our mother.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.