CATCH O’ THE WEEK: A fisherman at the Waterfront Park pier reeled in a 9mm.

Kitchen Crew Threat O’ The Week: “You better bring your knives when you walk to your car.”

Items Stolen This Week: 11 GPS units, 11 bikes, and two iPods.

Told of two potentially drunk pedestrians in Marion Square, officers found the likely suspects with three open bottles of alcohol at their feet. Asked what they were doing, one of the men shouted out, “Not drinking!”

While searching a suspect, officers found a pill shaped like the head of a Transformer. Child’s vitamin? No. It was ecstasy.

A 20-year-old found passed out at a downtown pizza place tried to fake unconsciousness to avoid arrest for underage drinking. He kept the act up until EMS tried to put him on a gurney. Then he ranted, “So, you’re taking me to jail because I used a fake ID to buy a couple drinks at the bar?! I’m 20 years old! I should be able to fucking drink!”

A man accused of striking a fellow late-night patron with a beer bottle over the back of the head allegedly asked the victim just prior to the incident whether “Y’all think you’re on a TV show?”

After getting hit by a car, a pedestrian later cited for disregarding a traffic signal allegedly asked a medic, “Can you toss my weed? I need you to toss my backpack before the police get here.” And to think your mother was worried about whether you had clean underwear.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.