BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: Two students threatened each other with scissors in the middle of art class.

Threat O’ the Week: “You know, I had a dream of kicking somebody in the balls, and you, sir, officer, I think you will be that person.”

A man told police that someone had broke into his home and left crack cocaine all over the apartment, including in his dog’s food dish and in his Bible. The only crack officers could find was the four ounces the man was holding in his hand. He was charged with possession.

Last Words Before Arrest O’ The Week: A man pulling up his shirt and pointing to his genitals, repeatedly said, “The dick goes in the pussy!”

Drunk Quote O’ The Week: “I’m slightly more than drunk.”

Asked about a gun found in a car, a suspect told police, “It’s mine. It’s a G thing. I have got to have it.”

Items stolen this week: Five bikes, three iPods, and two GPS units

A man said he mistook a woman’s apartment for his own when he banged on the window so hard he broke it. The man told police that he is on psychological medication — which he took with three beers that morning.

Among the stolen items retrieved from an accused car thief: a Twix candy bar.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.