Blotter o’ the week: A man with no means of paying his $33 bar tab repeatedly told cops his name was Sid Wilson and that he was a member of Slipknot, going as far as saying he needed to call his manager at Roadrunner Records to get money. (We checked – it wasn’t him.)

A woman walked out of a downtown drug store with a candle, a box of Lucky Charms, milk, and the shopping basket that carried it all.

A man was found pacing back and forth and talking to himself in a downtown parking garage. He took a fighting stance and cursed at an officer when asked what he was doing.

A man who appeared intoxicated woke up lying on his kitchen floor and covered in blood. He remembered nothing except receiving a Jimmy John’s delivery order earlier in the evening.

A hotel employee got fired by his manager, went into the kitchen, and threw a bottle of hot sauce at the wall.

A woman was sunbathing in Marion Square when a man wearing a chef’s coat asked her for the time. He then put his hand in his pants and began stroking himself, at which point the woman left the park. An officer later found him sitting on a bench with a bag of Mike’s Hard Lemonades.

A James Island man was sitting in his backyard when he noticed that his neighbor’s camera, which previously faced his own backyard, was now facing his. The day after he noticed, the neighbor walked up to him and said, “You are hacking my cameras because that was the only way you would know to call the cops.”

This week in Victoria’s Secret thefts: Two women in their 20s, one of them already wearing PINK merch, stole eight leggings, six T-shirts, three joggers, and three sweatshirts. Total value: $1,084.

A man who removed a powdery substance from his pants told an officer that it was ketamine, which he bought from “a guy in Florida.”

When an officer asked a man how he ended up driving onto the curb and hitting a tree, he replied, “Well, I was at the bar getting fucked up.”

A neighborhood HOA recently paid to resurface their tennis court only for people to ruin it by riding dirt bikes on it.