Blotter of the Week: Police found a series of graffiti sprayed on the wall of an elementary school reading, “Fuck this place.” Sounds like some salty middle schoolers coming back for vengeance. 

Runner Ups

A backpack was found discarded on the side of a downtown street containing some unusual items: two gold teeth and a high-powered parabolic microphone. We suppose it could have been worse.

Someone covered a downtown business’ door with stickers saying “Free The Boys,” police reported. It is unknown who the boys are, or where they are being held, but we aren’t sure a few stickers are going to help. 

During a field sobriety test, a West Ashley woman who was supposed to walk nine steps and turn around instead kept walking until police ran and caught up to her. The move was so subtle, even police were unsure if she was actually trying to escape.