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Blotter o’ the Week: A foot chase ensued after a man was caught climbing a traffic pole and trying to steal the Wentworth Street sign. He was eventually cornered by authorities in a dead end.

A stranger called a man and launched into a threatening tirade, telling him, “you ride around in the wheelchair, and have a lot of money in your pockets, I am going to come out and kill you tonight.” The man was worried because the caller A) knew he was in a wheelchair and B) knew he had a Hispanic girlfriend, though he couldn’t tell authorities her last name when they asked. (Psst … break up with him.)

A man’s cell phone was stolen from underneath his body as he slept on a bench in Wragg Square.

A man called the cops after finding a stranger’s Social Security card, credit card, insurance card, and W-2 in his backyard. A pretty strange place for an identity thief to stash his loot, if you ask us.

A West Ashley woman’s ex-boyfriend lived large at the expense of her credit. Her card statement shows $168.20 worth of UberEats delivered to his house.

After two men stole four rings worth $3,700 from her antique store, a woman (presumed to be the owner of the store) described them as “Armenian or Eastern European and possibly Gypsies.”

When a downtown resident stepped outside to tell a woman to keep her phone fight down, the catty chatter cried out, “I’ve been out here all this time and now you are coming out … Come down here and I will beat your ass.”

A woman was walking her dog on Fishburne Street when someone yelled, “Hey!” She turned around to find a man standing outside of his open passenger door masturbating in plain view. The woman ran back home and the man drove away.

Outside of a downtown convenience store, a man complimented a woman’s dress and inexplicably put his hand on her shoulder. When she backed away, he reached down, pulled her dress open, and touched her breast. His cover? “I wasn’t trying to look at your boobs.”

A woman, who believes that a West Ashley thrift store throws away whatever gets donated to them, stole a coat hanger, a lamp, a crock pot, and a few books from the shop and tried to hide them in a recycling bin before running from the cops.

A man filed a sexual assault complaint against a female employee at a West Ashley massage parlor.

A drunk woman walking down the street at 2:30 a.m. told officers she was going to her boyfriend’s house. “It should be noted that the offender never said specifically where her boyfriend’s house was,” the officer noted, “just pointed in the general direction of Lockwood Drive.”

An officer responding to a vandalism call noted the car parked outside of the caller’s residence, which was adorned with the words “Die Bitch Ass” and “Slut” on the hood, “Hoe Ass” spread across on the trunk (naturally), and “Fake Bitch” on the roof of the vehicle — facing God and any less-than-genuine low altitude flyers.

A former employee at a contracting firm stole $13,000 in tools from a hardware store by billing the items to his former employer, whose workers were labeled “authorized buyers.”

A Johns Island man wired $8,750 to a contractor who was supposed to screen-in his patio. No one ever showed up to start the work, and attempts to reach the trifling trader have led nowhere.