Illustration by Steve Stegelin

The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department in May 2012.

Blotter of the Week: A man sitting at a bus stop tried to conceal his beer by drinking it from a Disney water bottle. Police asked if he had been drinking when they noticed him acting a little Goofy, but he told them they were Daffy.

RUNNERS UP

Breakfast of Champions o’ the Week: During an 8 a.m. class, an underage student got caught pouring himself a premixed margarita from a bottle stored in his desk.

While opening a display case at a jewelry store so he could steal a few bracelets, a man put his bare hands all over the glass surface, leaving his fingerprints everywhere. Don’t they teach the basics in thief school anymore?

Upon returning home after an apartment fire, one family learned that the cleaners they had hired to fix the damage had left the door unlocked and placed their belongings on the lawn on several occasions, and someone made off with 80 of their DVDs, a $350 Tiffany lamp, several curtains and rugs, and $900 worth of hair weave.