Following today’s announcement that Berkeley County schools will operate on a three-hour delay tomorrow — with Charleston County schools opening two-hours late — the Era of the Special Little Snowflake has now reached peak irony. Unlike Elsa of Arendelle, the cold really does bother them.

So without further ado, here’s a hastily written parody of “Let It Go”:

The bus stop is quiet on Daniel Island this morn
Not a kid to be seen
School has been half-cancelled,
And it looks like you’re weenies.

The temps are dropping like the test scores inside
Couldn’t keep them up, heaven knows you tried!

Don’t let them out, don’t make them wait
Be the good parents you always have to be
Conceal, don’t reveal, don’t let them know
Well, now they know!

It is cold, it is cold
They can’t feel their feet anymore
It is cold, it is cold,
Let them stay in and snore

You don’t care
What we’re going to say
Let the delay go on,
The cold really bothers you apparently!

It’s funny how some parents
Dress their kids like eskimos
And they put them on school buses
Without getting a frostbitten nose

It’s time to fret, it’s time to freak
To worry like parents who are weak
No stop, no light, no rosey on their cheeks. 

It is cold, it is cold
You don’t know how to dress your kids anymore
It is cold, it is cold,
Put them in shorts and slam the door

Here they’ll shake
And here they’ll freeze
The 3-hour delay is on
The cold really bothers you apparently!