As you know, the Charleston City Paper’s annual Best of Charleston issue hit the stands on Wednesday. But you may have missed the news about another, equally as important, contest — the Doggone Best of Charleston Awards. And I only have myself to blame.

See, the Doggone Best of Charleston Awards, or the Waggies as we call them here at the City Paper, are compiled, tabulated, and all that good stuff by yours truly.

And I must say, that the results are surprising. So without further adieu, here are the winners.

Best Chef
Chris Haire
The Rabid Chef’s House of Soups
This man knows soups — from the best damn miso on the planet to a bowl of udon soup that would have Buddha renouncing the Four Noble Truths. And the best part is, we hear he doesn’t follow a recipe. The Rabid Chef wings it every time. Take that Mike Lata.

Best Band
Black Shag
Even though this impressive one-man-band, the first “death metal beach band” in the world, has yet to put out an album or even written a song, they are without a doubt the most influential act to come of the Holy City. Give “666-Minute Man” a spin and hear it for yourself.

OK. I’ll stop there. I really don’t want to take away the spotlight from any of the City Paper’s winners more than I have. And believe me, if I kept writing, the streets of Charleston would be flooded with tears.

Which brings me to Sen. Jim DeMint and the Senate Conservatives Fund.

Some months back, the Upstate senator founded the Senate Conservatives Fund, a PAC designed to fund conservative candidates like Florida Republican Marco Rubio, who is challenging Charlie Crist in the Sunshine State Senate race.

The Senate Conservatives Fund “is is a political action committee dedicated to electing strong conservatives to the United States Senate. We do not support liberal Republicans and we are not affiliated with the Republican Party or any of its campaign committees. “

Furthermore, the fund “seeks to bring bold conservative leadership to Washington by supporting only the most principled candidates nationwide — candidates who believe in the timeless conservative principles of limited government, strong national defense, and traditional family values.”

Fortunately, DeMint’s PAC ranks all the folks in the U.S. Senate so that you will know who exactly are the most principled candidates, the ones who most align with the Senate Conservatives Fund principles. Surprisingly, only one candidate scores a perfect 100.

It’s not Orin Hatch. He got a 76.

And it’s not Mitch McConnell. He got 79.

And it’s not not Lindsey Graham. He got 84.

It’s Jim DeMint himself.

Shocker.