Peanuts! These goobers are dry, so they’re for roasting, not boiling.

Elsewhere in the box: another eggplant to add to my growing pile, a spaghetti squash (I think), some beets, broccoli, lettuce, and MORE BANANA PEPPERS. Yikes.

I really need to take a class on canning. In the spring I experimented with some refrigerator pickles using yellow squash. Hesitant to try them, I left the glass jar in the fridge far too long. When I finally cracked it open, the squash looked all shriveled and sad, but I ate one anyway. And it was good! So I proceeded to eat almost the whole jar. And then my stomach hurt. And then I went to the interweb to diagnose myself: botulism. I had made some kind of mistake. I hadn’t boiled the jar and the tops and I had carelessly thrown it all together and ended up poisoning myself. Botulism attacks your nerves and it takes a few days to do its damage, so I turned to ipecac syrup. For those of you who don’t have children or anorexia, ipecac makes you toss your cookies. So I took some, moaned loudly, purged, and didn’t die. In retrospect, I probably just ate too many pickles.

It was a ridiculous hypochondria-fueled episode that pales in comparison to the real food poisoning my husband is thrashing around with this week.

Needless to say, the family is not looking forward to any more pickling. If anyone has some instructions on how to safely can some banana peppers, I’d appreciate some tips.