Here’s our abbreviated look at the Constitutional questions on the South Carolina ballot this year:

Question 1: Hannah Montana can afford to wait

• Must the Constitution of this State be amended to delete the provision that no unmarried woman shall legally consent to sexual intercourse under 14 years?

Translation: The legislature is looking to make the legal age for women to consent to sex 16, 18, or until they have the good sense not to name a child after Troy Bolton or their favorite Jonas Brother.

Questions 2&3: Investing in Stocks — Seriously

• Must the Constitution of this State be amended so as to provide that the funds of any trust fund established to fund post-employment benefits for state employees, public school teachers, and political subdivisions of the state may be invested in equity securities subject to limitations on such investments?

Translation: “Post-employment benefits” is primarily health insurance for retirees. “Equity securities” are stocks. We’d ask our broker for advise on this one, but he keeps nagging us about a reference letter for his new job at Hollister.