Where does one even start with Reckless? The bad accents? The forced innuendos (isn’t that an oxymoron)? The constant glistening of skin to really drive home the steaminess of Charleston? Actually we could somehow overlook all of those things if the show was somewhat compelling. But it wasn’t. In fact, it was cringe-worthy.

And it’s not that they didn’t try. The show really wants to make sure you understand that it is a sultry legal drama. Clearly, the best way to illustrate that is to open the show with a sex scene that involves handcuffs. With no character development you see Lee Anne Marcus (Georgina Haig) leaving a bar on Shem Creek only to be pulled over by a police officer, Terry McCandless (Shawn Hatosy). The audience has no idea that the two know each other — which was maybe supposed to add to the sexiness? — but you’ll get that later on. Complexity is not something one needs to worry about with this show. Anyway, Lee Anne tries to sweet talk her way out of a ticket and next thing you know she’s cuffed to a chain-link fence and enjoying some lovin’. All in all, a pretty normal traffic stop for Charleston.

It then abruptly cuts to Roy Rayder (Cam Gigandet) cruising to work on his speedboat (check out his very long and indirect commute here). And because he’s a carefree Southern guy, he couldn’t shave at home. But that’s why they make battery-powered razors, right? So you can walk down the dock and get rid of all your scruff. Again, we have no idea who this man is, just that he’s a prominent figure in the show.

Nor do we know who the lady is that’s bribing a bailiff in the next scene. We later find out that it’s Jamie Sawyer, Roy’s female foil. The only thing you really need to know about her is that she’s a Yankee and a lawyer. Oh, and there’s supposed to be an insane amount of chemistry between Roy and Jamie, but we didn’t get that. In fact, it was mostly just boring or awkward — like when Jamie admits that she’s sweating, but only “in little private places you [Roy] can’t see.”

The show goes on for a very long hour. There’s some lawsuit going on in the background, but it almost seems like an afterthought to the plot. Then there’s more sex. This time on a cop car with multiple cops and our dear friend Lee Anne. She claims she was drugged. Of course, the escapade was taped. Somewhere along the way Lee Anne is fired, leading her to bring a lawsuit with Jamie as her lawyer. And now with Roy as the city attorney — oh yeah, he got promoted thanks to his ex-father-in-law — the two are destined to go against each other in the courtroom for awhile — or at least as long as the show airs.

Reckless could have been helped if they had introduced the characters to the audience rather than just dropping us into their normal Tuesday routine. Pilots can always be a little rough, so we’ll tune in next week — and maybe we’ll learn more about the characters so we’ll want to come back. But probably not.