I really don’t want to spoil this, but it involves a runner, a cop, and, well, I’ve already said too much.

Here’s the opening of the ESPN and Nike, um, report:

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Local university sprint champion Allison Bick can add a ridiculous distinction to her growing list of accomplishments as a college track star — illegally running too fast.

For many, the thought of being cited for being too fast would be flattering, but for Bick, who has never had a traffic violation or a ticket of any kind, being labeled a rule breaker is a serious matter.

“I respect the law. My father was a Police Sergeant, ” said a still-shocked Bick, who has yet to crack a smile over the citation. “When the policeman stopped me, I was like, are you joking?”

Now, I’ve got to warn you: The article is more or less an ad for the Nike Max Air. And in that regard, it’s a pretty much goes against any and all journalistic principles — you know, that whole separation of editorial and sales. Who am I’m kidding? I’ve got no principles. Enjoy.