MONDAY. So your kids are mad at you for sending them to summer camp? Tackle that lip with vengeance, and reserve yourself a spot in the WINGS for Kids Parenting Seminar.

TUESDAY. Get brassy at the Tattooed Moose with some sax jams by Bill Wilson and the Secret Ingredients. Or release your rage and score a free metal CD at Wolf Lord’s CD launch show.

WEDNESDAY. No more horsing around. The Charleston Summer Classic I Horse Show is a serious hunter/jumper competition. And it’s seriously free. If the equestrian vibes aren’t doing it for you, The Pour House has The Dead 27s and For the Faithful vibing you out to some rock, funk, and acoustic melodies.

THURSDAY. Tonight is the night to strut. Time to kick off Pride with the Art for Pride Art Walk. If you’re not into art, get your walking in at the Hendrick’s Gin Contest Crawl, complete with competing bartenders reciting limericks as they pour a strong one (that you’ll have to pay for, though admission is free).

FRIDAY. Today is so cheery, you’ll hardly remember the ominous date. Rosefire Jewelry and JOLIN Boutique Trunk Show will offer Bellinis and pink champagne, plus complementary makeovers. After an evening of relaxing, drop by Wild Wing for less yuppie relaxation with some Celtic rock and Americana by Cranford and Sons (who are not Mumford and Sons, but are slightly similar).

SATURDAY. It’s going to be an intense Saturday morning. Make sure you wake up in time to see all the floats at the Charleston Pride Parade, and don’t forget the Charleston Pride Rally right after. If you’re thinking of leaving early, don your French garb for Bastille Day, which Fish will be honoring with a party so awesome, it could even be revolutionary. Ending the week with can-can and burlesque? Oh yes.