[image-1]Here’s the Wrap:

WTF is going on with these Tour de France guys?

Floyd Landis’ sleepy, scientific arbitration hearing morphed into a pulp-fiction blockbuster Thursday, replete with revelations of sexual abuse, allegations of threatening phone calls and even a Donald Trump-style firing.

It came courtesy of Landis’ fellow American Tour de France champion Greg LeMond, who disclosed he had been sexually abused as a child and received a call Wednesday from Landis’ manager who threatened to reveal the secret if LeMond showed up to testify.

Shortly after LeMond dropped those bombshells, the manager, Will Geoghegan, walked up to LeMond, apologized and admitted he made the call, LeMond said. Which led to “You’re fired” — the message Landis attorney Maurice Suh gave to Geoghegan while they were still standing in the hearing room.

Gas explosion on Kiawah Island, four injured.

• 400-pound gorilla climbs high wall, crosses moat to escape zoo. Are you taking notes Paris Hilton?

• Just in time for the pirate pleasures of the summer (tall ships, pirate movies, pirate reality TV), divers have found sunken treasure with $500 million.

• Immigration reform? Not so fast. Conservatives are calling it amnesty and liberals are tepidly calling it a starting point. Well, there’s always 2009.

House gets the post-Super Bowl spot. No doubt it will be “the most shocking episode ever” where “House will be tested like never before” … wait, that’s every other episode of House.