After taking time off from his daily radio and TV talk shows, the Mormon convert and former alkie released a confessional video that would have rivaled Lonelygirl15 for sheer creepiness and calculated commercialism.

In the video, featuring a scruffy faced and bedridden Beck, the host spins a horrible and very vague tale about a near fatal hospital stay, suicidal thoughts, and blood, coming out of places blood shouldn’t come out of.

Actually, I’m surprised Beck can bleed. I thought he was a long lost Tex Avery cartoon character, one that was equal parts Elmer Fudd and Hal Lindsey, who’s only fears were turpentine and thoughtful discourse. I was wrong.

Here’s the video:

After watching that I actually felt sorry for the dude. Yikes. Sounds like he had a rough spell in the hospital.

Well, now we apparently know the truth, thanks to those fine right-wingers at And the truth is … Glenn Beck had surgery to remove hemorrhoids. Click here to find out more.