If anyone was looking for empirical proof that the Gate Theatre’s 19 performances of Somerset Maugham’s The Constant Wife will be the hottest tickets at Spoleto ’07, I offer it thusly — in the form of an e-mail from my stepmother:

“Patrick, thanks for the Happy Mother’s Day wishes. Also thanks for the suggestion about The Constant Wife. That got us moving to get tickets, and I have a feeling that we would’ve missed out if we had waited one more day. The only two tickets that we could get together were on the last day for $65.”

I’m such a good kid sometimes I make myself sick.