Has anyone noticed the GOP Convention is happening? Between Gustav and general apathy, this thing is causing less buzz then the Jerry Lewis Telethon.
But it’s not their fault. Barack Obama rocked the country last week. It was the equivalent of the greatest keg party ever. One from your sophomore year of college that the cops never busted. Everybody got drunk, stoned, and laid. It was heaven. Now the GOPs are trying to throw a party the very next night-“hey guys we can have fun too!”- only the party is being thrown by a bunch of religious nut jobs that don’t drink or have sex unless it’s to have babies-“who’s ready for pin the tail on the donkey! Guys the cake is here! Everybody put on your party hats”- and they’re wondering why no one showed up.
So in order to make the GOP Convention watchable- here are some drinking games you can play. And remember- it will all be over soon.
1. The recent incarnation of the GOP has had trouble attracting minority members. This year especially. Every time they show the same person of color in the crowd- drink.
2. Every time McCain mentions the word “Torture”- drink. Please do not use liquor for this one, it might kill you. John McCain’s alarm clock instead of beeping says “Torture Torture Torture!”
3. For every 10 minutes that goes by without a mention of George W. Bush- drink. This could get dangerous as well. Bush is being treated like the cousin who asks you for money at the family reunion. He’s like Randy Quaid in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The GOP Convention, the sitting GOP President, a scion of the Bush Line, has to give a speech via satellite. Man he screwed up.
4. Every time Sarah Palin mentions Barack’s inexperience, just, fuck it, do a line of coke.
Drink up! And happy vetting.