As any listener of The Morning Buzz with Richard Todd knows, there’s only way surefire way to protect identity, and that’s Lifelock.

Evidently, Gov. Nikki Haley has never heard the ad. Heck, judging by her pass-the-buck performance at Wednesday night’s town hall at CofC, we’re guessing she rarely, if ever, listens to anybody. Be sure to Greg Hambrick’s excellent post on the matter.

So we’re sure that Haley will completely ignore the fact that the leader of the S.C. Democratic Party wants to help the good governor out in her time of need.

As you know, The State has reported that Haley most likely lied about her income in 2007, income that she earned working for the family biz, Exotica International.

On federal tax forms, Haley indicated that she only earned $22,000 in 2007, while on her application with the Lexington Medical Center, she noted that her income was $125,000.

Some of Haley’s critics — both those on the left and the right — have wondered if the governor inflated her salary on the application in order to justify the $100,000-plus salary she ultimately received from Lexington as a lobbyist … sorry, I mean, fundraiser.

However, what if this isn’t the case at all? What if Haley was actually lying to Uncle Sam? What if she actually received far more than a paltry $22,000 from Exotica, you know, off the books?

Of course, that’s neither here nor there. Haley did not fill out the application in question, and she did not erroneously list her income as $125,000 when it was actually $22,000.

How do we know this? Well, Haley said so. More importantly, she didn’t sign the online application.

Now, I don’t know about you, but the internets can do a lot of neat stuff. You can stream the NCAA tournament during the workday when you should’ve been editing copy. You can download bootleg copies of the new Simon Pegg-Nick Frost comedy Paul when you should be listening to the publisher during the monthly manager’s meeting. And you could be on the City Paper site debating the merits of Gaga Day when you should be, well, doing something other than be on the City Paper site debating the merits of Gaga Day.

But, as far as we know, you cannot pick up a ballpoint pen and scribble your name on your laptop screen.

That bit of idiocy aside, Haley has claimed that someone else — who we don’t know — must have filled out that application, despite the fact that the folks at the Lexington Medical Center have more or less said that was an impossibility. The P&C reports:

Mark Shelley, director of marketing and public relations at the medical center, told The Post and Courier Wednesday that the medical center did not make changes to Haley’s application.

“We didn’t alter an application,” he said. “That’s not something we do.”

Nor did the hospital fill out the application on Haley’s behalf, Shelley said. Shelley said in theory it is possible that a person other than Haley filled out the application, but that person would have had to have access to Haley’s Social Security number, her user name and password created for the application process, the answer to a security question and the details of Haley’s job history.

“Is it unlikely, highly unlikely,” that any person other than Haley herself filled out any part of her online application. By pressing send on the application, and providing an electronic signature, the person verifies that the information in it is “accurate and truthful,” Shelley said.

And still Haley insists that a boogeyman filled out her application.

Fortunately, S.C. Democratic Party Carol Fowler is on the case. She wants that mysterious application-filling-out phantom to pay for his crimes. In a press release out this morning, Fowler says:

“If the governor doesn’t know who filled out the application that lied about her income, and only someone with all that personal information could have done it, it’s time for law enforcement to step in. Identity theft is a serious crime and shouldn’t be ignored just because Governor Haley doesn’t seem to want to discuss it. Someone has committed a crime and should be punished.”

Godspeed, Carol. Godspeed.