Nikki Haley is ball of positivity, a wave of enthusiasm, a motherfucking fount of optimism. And like any Borderline Pollyanna Disorder patient, she is prone to lie — to others and herself.

Consider the recent dustup over her overseas trip to the Paris Air Show earlier this summer.

As you know, the Post and Courier called out the allegedly fiscally conservative Haley for the wad of cash she spent on the trip to Gay Paree for her entourage, including anti-Park Circle rail plan mastermind Sen. Hugh Leatherman.

Although my dislike for Haley runs deep — in fact, you might say it’s as deep as Sarah Palin is shallow — I don’t have a problem with Nikki’s European vacation. It’s takes a big fucking carrot to lure international business to this Confederate cornhole, even when they come from a goosestepping country with a holocaust-themed barbecue joint. I say bring on the jobs, but keep the BBQ bigots to yourself. We’ve already got one Maurice Bessinger. We don’t need another one.

But now, Nikki’s at it again. This time, Haley knew that the P&C and its readers wouldn’t be satisfied with the dirty truth about her economic development mission, you know, that such trips amount to little more than a banner ad on the homepage of the European Union. They’re merely a reminder to overseas businessmen that South Carolina is open for business — and that some of our politicians are a bit more open than others. But that wasn’t good enough for Nikki. Nope.

First, she had to proclaim that everybody who was anybody at the Paris Air Show was all sex-nuts about the Palmetto State. “The buzz is about how great our workforce is, how the cost of doing business is low, and how we continue to get more business friendly,” Haley said, according to the Moultrie News.

Yes, I realize that our great state just landed Boeing, and that’s a good thing. An excellent thing. A thank-God kind of thing. But I seriously doubt that South Cackalacky was all the rage among the European aerospace business elite . If you ask me, this is just another example of how the power of positive thinking runs amuck in the mouth of Nikki Haley. However, I could be wrong.

But that blast of positivity wasn’t enough for Haley. Last week, she proclaimed that the state had ” “closed two deals” to bring jobs to the Palmetto State, according to the P&C’s Renee Dudley.

However, when Dudley spoke to state Commerce Sec. Bobby Hitt, she learned that no such deals existed, although he did say that “two agreements involving foreign employers [were] in the works.”

Now, maybe I’m splitting hairs, here. Maybe I’m not. But remember this: Loose lips sink ships. If Haley actually hopes to successfully woo business to South Carolina, she’d be wise to keep her mouth shut until the papers are signed and to leave the daily affirmations to those private moments each morning when she’s in front of the mirror polishing her teeth.

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