There are lots of things I don’t recall.

High school dances.


July 5, 2008.

Last night.

But if I ever — and I mean, ever — signed a document in which I agreed to pay somebody money in order to put an end to a sexual harassment claims, I would never forget that.

Evidently, that’s a big difference between Herman Cain and me. Apparently, he’s a forgetful sort of guy — and, frankly, that’s not a good trait in an chief executive if you ask me.

See, in an interview with Fox News, Cain had this to say about allegations that he settled with a woman who claimed the former pizza restaurant CEO sexually harassed her:

Asked if he’s ever seen a financial settlement paid to one of two women who accused him of sexual harassment, Cain said, “No. I don’t recall signing it. Now, the fact that I say I don’t recall signing it doesn’t mean that I didn’t sign it, but I simply don’t recall if I signed it.”

What a weasel.

But then again so is nearly every politician.

Of course, there’s a big difference between them and Herman Cain: they’re better at keeping their dark secrets a secret.

We’ve seen it with Bill Clinton.



John Edwards.

Jim McGreevey.

Larry Craig.

Mark Sanford.

Thomas Ravenel.

And the list goes on and on and on.

The best part: These politicians usually have a team of folks helping to keep all of their LeAnn Rimes in the pantry. Of course, more often than not, we can still hear those bones a’rattling.

Now, exactly how all of this will play out, I’m not exactly sure. There’s been talk that Cain has received more campaign contributions since this alleged scandal hit the papers, the interwebs, and the boob tube. But if you ask me, I’d say Cain’s presidential hopes are all but gone.

That said, anything can happen. Cain just might win this whole thing.

I mean, who ever thought that Rush Limbaugh would ever play the race card in defense of a black man? Not me. At least not that I recall.

Man, I’ve got to lay off the booze.