Just because you’ve got a crap job (or none at all) doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the finer things in life. Whether you squeeze into that miniskirt and stilettos to seduce unwitting men, or you wear your jeans a size too small to charm the cougars, you know that looking good can get you far at a bar.
When they whip out that credit card and offer to buy you a drink, don’t just settle for a Cape Cod. Show ’em you’re a special kind of gal (or guy) by ordering a drink fit for Diddy. Or just be sneaky about what you’re ordering, grab the drink, and get the hell out of there.
We spoke to several bartenders around town and asked them what their most baller-ish drinks were. All of the bars listed offer plenty of affordable drinks, but don’t forget, you deserve the best!
Johnny Walker Blue, $35
The Upper Deck Tavern
Surprisingly, one of the city’s biggest dive bars offers one of the most expensive drinks. Not surprisingly, they go through about two bottles a year.
Don Julio 1942, $22
Order a couple shots of this, and your suitor probably won’t even know what they’re getting into. Look super sexy licking the salt off your hand and sucking on that lime, and they might order you one more.
Remy Martin XO, $30
This steakhouse has a well-heeled bar crowd and a great bourbon selection — which they go through quite quickly, even the high-end stuff. Order this cognac to impress them with your impeccable taste.
Crown Royal XR, $24.75
Please don’t order this “extra rare” whiskey mixed with Coke. Order it neat and savor it.
The Macallan 18 Year Highland Single Malt Scotch, $28.50
Pearlz Oyster Bar
Scothedy, scotchedy, scotch. This one is 18 years old, which we assume makes it delicious.
Top Shelf Pink Lemonade, $18
If shots aren’t your thing, order this potent drink from Coast. A mixture of Grey Goose, Bombay, Bacardi Gold, champagne, and fresh-squeezed fruit juice, it’s a sweet-looking drink for a devious drinker.
Cristal Champagne, $600
Yeah, we doubt you can get away with this one. But you might be able to get a sip of this nectar of the gods before they chase you down Market Street.