You may not believe this, but I’m sick and tired of writing about Nikki Haley.
The thrill is gone. The passion has petered out. The time to delete “Darling Nikki” from my go-to iPod political playlist has arrived.
Seriously, I don’t want to write about how Haley removed businesswoman and philanthropist Darla Moore from the Board of Trustees at the University of South Carolina and replaced her with a campaign contributor, a lawyer no less.
I don’t want to pen a blog post about the release of an email between the governor and her then-employer the Lexington Medical Center, implying that Haley may have been operating as a paid lobbyist for the hospital. That also means that I don’t even want to touch Haley’s recent “password” gaffe on Sparkle City TV station WSPA.
I don’t want to sit down at the laptop and fire-off another expletive-filled screed about the plan that Haley and Commerce Department yard gnome Bobby Hitt have crafted to strangle the neighborhood I live in with a rail line that violates a memorandum of understanding between the city of North Charleston and the state of South Carolina.
I don’t want to even think about the fact that Haley has stacked the board of SCETV with folks who don’t believe government money should be used to fund public television and public radio, even though SCETV was the only news organization to air the South Carolina gubernatorial debate in 2010.
I don’t want read another smart-assed, amateur-hour denial from Haley’s chief of staff Tim Pearson about the latest scandal to beset the good governor. Seriously, somebody needs to give this toddler a bottle and put him down for a nap. That baby pitches a fit when he gets hangry.
And I don’t want to even begin to speculate on Haley’s chances of being on the short-list of GOP contenders for the VP nomination in 2012. With a memoir in the works, it’s become increasingly clear that Haley has Sarah Palin-sized national ambitions, ambitions which she likely hopes will bring a premature end to her term and put an even more inept liar in her place.
And you know what? I have a choice. I don’t have to write about Nikki Haley. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever again.
I can ignore her. I can look away. I can imagine that she simply doesn’t exist. In fact, I can not only imagine that Nikki Haley isn’t the governor, I can act as if somebody else is.
Take Vincent Sheheen for example.
I can imagine what South Carolina would be like with him in power.
I can imagine how he would work with the General Assembly to actually solve the problems of our state instead of crafting some silly ass, slap-in-the-face report card for legislators.
I can imagine a world where Will Folks will no longer be able to tease his readers at FITSNews with dribble-dribble stories detailing his alleged affair with Haley since no one would have a reason to care what really went on in that Cadillac Escalade except for Michael Haley.
And best of all, I would not have to think about Larry Marchant swapping spit with Haley, except when, you know, the wife is out shopping, the dogs are outside, and I’m all alone in the privacy of my own home.
Ah. Who am I kidding? I can’t stop writing about Nikki Haley.