Jake Knotts used to be a cop. For 29 years. Now, he’s just a bull-necked buffoon who with one big ole blast of hot air just made the press coverage surrounding the Andre Bauer “outing” that much worse. And the funny thing is, it doesn’t sound like that was Knotts’ intention at all.

See, according to Palmetto Scoop, Knotts has sent a letter to his fellow members of the General Ass., proclaiming that he is “100% certain the rumor [that Andre is gay] is false” and Gov. Mark Sanford’s folks are behind it.

In fact, he says that “with absolute certaintity this attack was orchestrated on behalf of Mark Sanford, either directly or indirectly, and financially subsidized by him or one of his many ‘front groups.'”

Knotts’ proof that Mike Rogers of BlogActive is wrong about Andre and the govenor’s men are behind this “false rumor”: Jake has known ‘Dre since he was eight years old … and he himself was once the victim of a similar “internet smear campaign” by Sanford’s evil henchmen.

And that’s it. No proof. No documentation. No taped recordings. No alcohol-fueled confessions. Just a stupid gut feeling. Way to go Walker, Texas Ranger.

Before the end of the letter calling for Sanford’s removal, Knotts proclaims that the governor is a “danger to our state” and that if the lege doesn’t get Mark out of office, “you and your family could be the next target.”

And that means you Dorothy and your little dog too.

Way to look after a friend, Jake. You just couldn’t let the “outing” story disappear. You had to go provide even more fodder for the blogosphere and cable news.

Thanks to City Paper news editor Greg Hambrick whose analysis provided the basis for this silly post about a silly man.