Negate all forms of emotion.

Tell no one.

Don’t begin to fathom that they’ll actually call you when you want them to.

No discussing crushes.

To maintain your dignity, the term “fuck buddy” should never be uttered.

Zero expectations.

Come to terms with the fact that you are indeed neither friends nor in a relationship. Accept it. Enjoy it.

No need to exchange gifts on holidays.

No need to remember special dates, mother’s name, or favorite superhero. OK, maybe the superhero.

Wager only as much as you’re willing to lose.

When it winds down, let it go … just let it go.