[image-1]• Overseas troops are giving to Obama over McCain 6 to 1. My guess is they’re looking forward to spending their money on the new Miley Cyrus album once they get stateside. It rocks!
• Smokers on the state payroll may soon be paying more for their health insurance. Thank goodness our only vice is booze. Beer on your breath in the morning is fine. Pall Malls? You’re on your own, man.
• The Parents Television Council says there’s too much heathen sex and talk of heathen sex on TV, with married horizontal mambos getting marginalized. We’re calling for a 24-hour station that has married gay couples talking about sex. That should make ’em happy.
• Harry Potter is holding out till next summer to take advantage of the blockbuster season. In the interim, they’ll be reshooting scenes to add a billionaire wizard who’s cache of magic wands is stolen by terrorists, forcing him to seek redemption as Dusty Cloth Robe Man. Other changes will include Hermione in blackface, Harison Ford recast as Dumbledore, musical numbers (and costumes) from ABBA b-sides, and bats — lots of bats.