I was just invited to a birthday party for a one year old.

What is the etiquette for this type of situation? Do I bring a present for the baby or the parents?  Or both?  Are other kids going to be there?  Do one year olds have friends?  Is this whole thing going to be a bunch of grown ups staring at a bunch of babies wondering where life went wrong?

Do I bring liquor, beer or wine?  Or just soda?  Is pot out of the equation?  They’re only one, it’s not like they’d know what we were doing.  Come to think of it, how much fun would a one year old’s birthday party be if you were a high?  Not alone in the bathroom staring at the mirror high, but “Yes, I would like another piece of cake” high.  “I’d love to play with these new shiny toys” high.  The kind of high where you say things like “Don’t you wish you could still wear a diaper?”  Or “They should make pacifiers for grownups.  I’d totally use them.”

Why even have a birthday party for a one year old.  He lived to be one, big shock.  I think birthday parties should gain in importance and celebration the older we get.  Forget giving a ten year old a party at the roller rink, give that 77 year old who just survived a bout cancer a party.  That guy deserves cake and presents, not a four year old in perfect health.