Former South Carolina state Sen. Robert Ford pled guilty today in a Columbia court, admitting to using campaign funds for personal use. In Ford’s case, some of that cash was apparently used to buy boner pills. Yikes.
Shortly after pleading guilty, Ford apparently had a change of heart, telling the assembled members of the press, “I ain’t no damn crook.” Unfortunately for him, his declaration didn’t actually say what he thought it said. In fact, it said the quite opposite. Damn those double negatives.
But before we judge Ford too harshly, it’s important to remember that Ford isn’t the only high-profile Palmetto State politico to resign in disgrace after using campaign funds to buy a little something for himself — both Lt. Gov. Ken Ard and Speaker of the House Bobby Harrell left office in campaign finance disgrace. And believe you me, Ford won’t be the last.
It’s also important to remember that Robert Ford isn’t the only double-negative-dropping maroon around here. Yours truly has spouted off more than his fair share of double negs. Sometimes it’s in conversation, sometimes it’s in print, but it’s always grammatically incorrect. And believe you me, my betters let me know each and every time.
So here’s to you, Robert. I feel your pain. I ain’t no grammar nazi. I’m your friend.