The Star Wars prequels.

New music from the Pixies.


Each one a clear reason why we must always be careful about what we wish for, because sometimes those wishes do come true, and they’re even worse than the sight of Black Francis butt naked except for a pair of Burberry chaps, wielding a double-pronged Darth Maul lightdildo while Obi Wan Obama serenades Kim Deal along the shores of Naboo with songs about rising insurance premiums, death panels, and the tragic love affair between Kathleen Sebelius and

Which brings us to state Sen. Mike Fair and the decision by the S.C. Education Oversight Committee to urge the State Board of Education to make it a requirement for high school biology instructors to “teach the controversy,” that controversy being the theory of evolution. The Post and Courier reports:

New language for high school biology standards is headed for consideration to the State Board of Education that would have students learn “the controversy.”

The S.C. Education Oversight Committee on Monday sent proposed language to the board that would require biology students to construct scientific arguments that seem to support and seem to discredit Darwinism.

The decision comes more than two months after the subject became a divisive issue for many in the Palmetto State and nationally in February, when Sen. Mike Fair, R-Greenville, voiced opposition during the review and approval of a new set of science standards for 2014.

At the time, Fair argued against teaching natural selection as fact, adding there are other theories students deserve to learn. He said the best way for students to learn was for the schools to teach “the controversy.” On Monday, he reiterated his stance.

“We must teach the controversy,” Fair said. “There’s another side. I’m not afraid of the controversy. … That’s the way most of us learn best.”

I couldn’t agree more. Which is why I support Fair’s efforts and the Education Oversight Committee’s decision. The controversy must be taught. After all, it’s really the only way we can put this bit of silly business behind us.

Imagine if you will, a high school teacher delivering a side-by-side comparison of the theory of evolution and creationism. By simply showing the facts about both schools of thought, teachers would clearly and concisely show their students how creationism — the idea that the world as we know it was created over the course of six days some six thousand years ago — just doesn’t stack up to the same scientific scrutiny as evolution. After all, fossil records beat fables, carbon dating beats dated concepts of an earth-centric universe, and natural selection beats selective reading.

In fact, I would argue that most creationists simply have never taken the time to fully understand the theory of evolution. They either reject the notion that man evolved from apes — psst, we didn’t but we share a common ancestor — and abandon Darwin right then and there, or they feel it’s their duties as Christians to oppose this basic scientific fact while embracing many, if not all, of the wondrous things that science — and the men and women who follow the scientific method — have given the world, things like antibiotics and clean water and the laptop you’re looking at right at this moment.

Some of you may believe that I think too highly of my fellow man, but I don’t think so. I have faith in their ability to tell the difference between fantasy and fact. And if they can’t do that, then we’ll at least know who to send to the FEMA workcamps when President Obama finally unleashes the full power of the Obamacare Death Star.